2012 was, like most years, a horribly beautiful year. I got some of the best news of my life, and I got some of the worst news of my life. A wonderful, challenging, thrilling, exhausting year. But where is the humor in that?
This is not Thanksgiving. It is New Years Eve. New Years, the snarkiest and most insincere of all holidays.
So here it comes. My shallow list of things I won't miss about 2012
The General Election. I don't care how you vote, the election process leaves everyone bruised.
Old White Dudes pontificating on rape
The Olympics. I wouldn't cross my street to watch most of these events.
Lebron James winning his first championship
Jon Calipari winning his first championship ( until vacated)
The Nationals, or any baseball team, shutting down their staff ace.... just in time for the playoffs
The Kansas City Chiefs
Apple Maps
People reading "Fifty Shades of Grey"
People talking about "Fifty Shades of Grey"
People writing snarky blogs
People thinking irony equates to creativity
People hiding behind self effacing humor
People named Ed Connealy
Call Me Maybe
Honey Boo Boo
All of the Vampire shit. It's done now right?
Showtime's "Homeland". A TV show about counter terrorism, absolutely blew itself up during the close of season two. Season two's second half was so bad, it managed to ruin season one.
Into New Year's Resolutions? Consider the following for inspiration.
No, you are not "starving", you are just an American who is not full right now.
Not everything you like or approve of is "amazing".
Almost everything you don't like, or don't approve of, shouldn't be called "retarded".
The exclamation point. Stop typing this (!) all the time. This (!) is supposed to articulate overwhelming enthusiasm. You know, something that would make you raise your voice. I'm amazed you don't get this.....it's kind of retarded!
